Letting Go of a Habit That Holds You Back: My Take on Smoking

Sandra Peeters
Jul 10
5 min read

Updated: Aug 18

I’ve smoked. I know the pull of it, the ritual of it, the strange comfort it gives. For me, smoking was more than nicotine. It was a coping mechanism. When my stress was at its highest, a cigarette felt like oxygen. It gave me something I couldn’t give myself at the time: the pause to breathe. Inhaling, exhaling, slowly, in control.

And let me start by saying this: I’m not here to shame anyone for smoking. I’ve been there. I know what it means to reach for that cigarette almost automatically, how it becomes part of your day — the pause, the reward, the deep inhale that feels like a reset. I also know the voice in your head that whispers: “I really should stop… but not today.”

But here’s the truth: that breath wasn’t real freedom. It was borrowed air. It didn’t heal the stress — it only covered it up while quietly stealing from me in the background. Smoking felt like a base I could always fall back on. Yet that base was shaky, fragile, and keeping me stuck.

The good news? If you’ve ever quit before — even for a day, a week, or a year — you already know it’s possible. That experience is proof. And that’s where you can start again: not from zero, but from knowing you can.

Quitting isn’t about giving something up — it’s about gaining life back, in a way that feels lighter, freer, and more joyful. Just like with any other truly lasting lifestyle change.

What Nicotine Really Is: Addictive, but in a Different Way

Nicotine is addictive, but not in the same league as heroin or cocaine. The physical withdrawal is shorter and less brutal. You can get past it in days or weeks.

What makes smoking so hard to quit isn’t just the drug itself — it’s the ritual around it:

the coffee-and-cigarette pairing in the morning,
the pause during stress,
the social chat outside with other smokers.

It’s not just chemical dependency — it’s behavioral dependency. And that’s what makes it feel so sticky.

The dangerous part? You keep coming back to something that is extremely harmful for your health. The nicotine pulls you in, but the smoke — with its thousands of toxic chemicals — is what kills.

The Hidden Mental Load of Smoking

Another cost of smoking is invisible: the mental calculation happening all day.

When can I smoke next?
Will I have time after this meeting?
Can I sneak outside during this dinner?

That constant background planning drains energy. You don’t even realize it until it’s gone. And when it’s gone, the freedom is incredible.

The AA Perspective: Never “Just One”

I’ve quit before — twice, seriously. And that’s the thing: if you’ve ever stopped smoking, you already know you can. That’s proof. That’s a foundation to build on.

But here’s what I also learned: there is no such thing as “just one.” Just like Alcoholics Anonymous says about alcohol, one drop is too much. With smoking, one cigarette is too much. Because one always leads to the next.

Breathing Without the Cigarette

What smoking really gave me wasn’t nicotine — it was the illusion of breathing. A pause. Controlled inhales and exhales.

The beautiful truth is: you can do that without the cigarette. Here are small replacements that give the same pause, without burning yourself in the process:

Take five slow breaths, counting each one.
Step outside and feel the air — without lighting up.
Drink a glass of water.
Write down one sentence — a thought, a gratitude, a release.

Simple things, yes. But so was the cigarette. The difference is: these give back instead of taking away.

Environment Matters: From New York to Brussels

When I lived in New York, smoking was already banned in restaurants, bars, and parks. At first it felt strict. Then it felt liberating. I didn’t feel pulled into a “social smoke” when I was out with friends, and I wasn’t wasting energy on planning where to light up. My lungs — and my mind — had space.

Belgium is moving the same direction. Indoor smoking has long been banned, smoke-free zones were expanded in 2024 around places like schools, hospitals, and playgrounds, and from 1 January 2026 smoking is set to be banned on café and restaurant terraces. Some see that as limiting freedom; I experience it as expanding the freedom not to smoke — the freedom to breathe.

Step by step, the air is getting clearer, and that mirrors the shift you can make personally.

When the Craving Hits

A craving isn’t a command. It’s a wave: it rises, peaks, and fades. Instead of following it, shift your focus:

From “I want a cigarette” to “I need a pause.”
From craving to action — walk, drink water, stretch.
From “I can’t” to “I choose.”

Every craving you ride out makes you stronger.

It’s Never Too Late to Quit Smoking

And here’s maybe the most important part: it’s never too late. Every single day without a cigarette is a win. Whether you’re 25 or 65, whether you’ve tried once or ten times — every attempt proves that you can. Every day without is a day you get back.

Every smoke-free day is a victory: for your lungs, for your energy, for your peace of mind, for your future.

So don’t ever think, “It’s too late for me.” It’s not.

Final thought

Letting go of smoking isn’t about being perfect. It’s about building a stronger base — a foundation that holds you up instead of crumbling beneath your feet, even when life throws you a few curveballs. It’s about reclaiming your breath — not through smoke, but through life itself.

Because when you quit, you don’t just lose cigarettes.

You gain breath.

You gain time.

You gain energy.

You gain headspace.

And you gain yourself.

👉🏻 Want to try this yourself? Download my free Clean Breathing Mini-Tool — a simple 2-page guide with exercises to pause, reset, and breathe without reaching for a cigarette.

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❯ Pausing & Breathing in the Oscillating Balance Tool

Living a balanced life isn’t only about how you act — it’s also about how you pause.

In the Oscillating Balance Tool, the area of Relaxation can easily be expanded to include how you take breaks — and how you breathe. Because real rest isn’t just doing nothing; it’s allowing your body and mind to reset, and to build a stronger foundation to stand on. (In that sense, it could just as well be part of Personal Growth.)

The tool helps you see where life feels steady and where it wobbles. Once that’s visible, it becomes easier to notice which areas need more care.

Pausing and breathing may look small, but they’re powerful shifts — often the difference between feeling drained and feeling supported.

Questions to reflect on Pausing & Breathing:

When do I allow myself to pause during the day?
What does my body feel like when I take a real break — even just three deep breaths?
Do I only pause when something “forces” me (stress, smoking, phone, exhaustion), or do I also pause by choice?
What kind of break leaves me feeling recharged instead of drained?
How could I make short breathing moments a natural part of my routine?
If I used to smoke: what did the cigarette give me — and how can I replace that with something healthier?