"That’s Not True!" — When Someone Denies Your Feelings

You express how you feel. Maybe you’re hurt, excited, frustrated, or overwhelmed. But instead of being heard, the other person shuts you down with:

• "That’s not true!"

• "You’re overreacting."

• "That didn’t happen like that."

Suddenly, your reality is dismissed.

You were there, you felt it — yet now you're questioning yourself.

Same Experience, Different Feelings

Imagine watching a movie with someone. You both sit in the same theater, at the same time, watching the same scenes unfold. You walk out feeling deeply moved, but your companion shrugs and says, "It wasn’t emotional at all."

Fair enough — people experience things differently. But what if they go further? "No, it wasn’t sad. You’re being dramatic." Now, it’s not just a different perspective; it’s a denial of your experience.

This dynamic, when repeated in a relationship, can be deeply unsettling. You express sadness, joy, frustration — only to be told it’s not real. It’s not just disagreement; it’s dismissal. And over time, it can make you doubt yourself.

Why This Happens: Psychological Perspectives

When someone repeatedly denies your feelings, it might be due to:

• Gaslighting (emotional manipulation)

  A person deliberately distorts reality to make you question yourself.

• Narcissistic traits

  Some individuals struggle with empathy and dismiss emotions that don’t fit their worldview.

• Emotional immaturity

  They may lack the skills to validate perspectives different from their own.

• Black-and-white thinking

  If they don’t feel something, they assume it must be untrue.

• Defense mechanisms

  Denying your emotions might be their way of avoiding guilt or discomfort.

When It Becomes Harmful

Occasional misunderstanding? Normal. But if this is a pattern — where your reality is constantly rewritten — it can be emotionally damaging.

Being repeatedly told that your feelings aren't real can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and a loss of trust in yourself.

How to Respond

• Trust yourself

  Just because someone denies your experience doesn’t make it less real.

  
  

• Set boundaries

  "You don’t have to agree, but please don’t dismiss how I feel."

  
  

• Seek validation elsewhere

  Talk to someone who respects your emotions.

  
  

• Assess the relationship

  If someone repeatedly denies your reality, it may not be a safe or supportive dynamic.

Final Thoughts

Healthy relationships allow space for different perspectives.

They sound like:

• "I didn’t experience it that way, but I see that it affected you."

• "I don’t fully understand, but I believe you."

• "Tell me more about how that felt for you."

If your truth is constantly being denied, the issue isn't your feelings — it's the environment you're in. Your emotions are valid. You deserve to be heard.